Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
