I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and she was petting her beer can
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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