Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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