Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
