Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
