your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
