Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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