I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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