But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
How does it feel to date your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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