I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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