The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
