I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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