Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
