okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
