Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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