I love black thongs
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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