Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize