No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
