So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
