so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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