im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize