Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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