I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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