Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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