Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
