Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
