I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
