Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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