she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
