Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.