...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people