Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat