their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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