We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
