jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
