If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I want a musical about memes.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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