weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize