oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
