if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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