I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This baby is an asshole
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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