I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
