Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
