bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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