All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Small penises have feelings too.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
