If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
