I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
