break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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