so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
