bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
