; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
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