Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
