batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
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bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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