I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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