my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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