You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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