i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
