i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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