But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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