it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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