i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
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Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
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It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
there is puke in my bra ... again
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