When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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