Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
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