Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I bet he comes in French.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
