better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
