oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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