I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
