He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize