just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
