And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
