ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
