I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
